Getting Punched in the Guts Sucks
For the last 10 years, this has been my primary driving belief:
Women don't need more confidence. The world needs to get the hell out of our way.
And I still fundamentally believe this. But as I've been working with women in the Painted Wolf Academy and Summer Pack this last year, I've noticed something that has shifted my thinking.
Most women I know HAD the confidence, the energy, and the belief that they could do anything, be anything they wanted to be. Myself included. But I'm not so sure that's true anymore. And for good reason.
The women I work with and interact with still hold those beliefs somewhere deep down, but if you ask them where they are at now, they tell me they're exhausted from playing the game and chasing their girl boss era (like need a full year on a beach with no responsibilities kind of exhausted). They'll tell you they feel like they've been sold a lie: you can do anything, but only within what others expect of you and as long as you stay in your lane. They'll tell you they feel undervalued and under-recognized.
And of course, they do. I feel it too.
We still live in a patriarchal world that tells all of us, regardless of gender, that we are meant to behave a certain way. That we are meant to be certain people. And most relevant to the work I do with women, that there is a singular way to lead for results.
So when we go in with our bright ideas or different ways of leading, we are met with "oh no, that's not how we do things here."
Or the old tropes of men speaking over us or repeating our ideas and everyone thinking HE'S a genius when we JUST said that 5 minutes ago.
Or when we have to so meticulously plan how we approach a negotiation because if we show too much ambition, we're selfish, but if we don't show enough we get written off for future promotions, literally.
Or when we turn on the tv or scroll our favorite news app and, in 2026, see rooms filled with men - and only men - making decisions about how the world runs, what we as women are and are not allowed to do, and literally burning the world.
Is it any wonder we feel like we've lost a bit of our spark?
Is it any wonder we're tired?
Is it any wonder our confidence feels like it's in the sh*tter?
So while I still FIRMLY believe that people need to get the hell out of women's way, the reality is we've been punched in the guts a million times and are still standing. But each time we get punched and knocked down, it gets harder and harder to confidently stand back up and say "come at me, bro!" Because getting punched in the guts sucks!
Women already have the confidence. The proof? You're still standing. Even though it feels hard and you're exhausted.
Frankly, we still need people to get the hell out of our way. But the reality is, that takes time. Because, unfortunately, the patriarchy takes time to dismantle…
So in the meantime…
I'm officially launching a community, THE DEN, for the women still standing, for those that want someone to really see them pick themselves back up and say what you're doing is incredible, for those who've been picking themselves up off the floor alone and could use a hand from someone who gets it.
The Den is coming mid-September and the waitlist is LIVE! Join the list using the link below to be the first to snag a spot in our launch week events + start leading for the real impact you know you can make.
I CAN'T WAIT to tell you everything (I just need to finalize a few things first lol).