Leaders: Forget the toolkit. Check your handbag đź‘ś
I was halfway through writing about building a leadership skillset when I caught myself using the same tired phrasing I’ve heard a million times: “What’s in your leadership toolkit?” Or worse: “What’s in your leadership arsenal?”
Toolkit? I don’t even know where mine is…the storage closet?
Arsenal? Please. The women I coach aren’t storming castles—they’re leading customer service teams, marketing departments, and project launches. They’re not preparing for battle.
So I stopped.
And I asked myself: what’s a more authentic way to describe “having all the stuff you need to succeed” that actually feels like us?
It hit me. Our handbags.
I’ve got a whole rotation depending on the day:
My dog-walk fanny pack (or bum bag if you’re British).
My crossbody for a night out.
My errands tote that holds approximately one farmer’s market.
My travel backpack with (let’s be real) SO MANY compartments.
Each bag has its own set of essentials for its occasion. And some things migrate between bags because they’re universal (looking at you, Charlotte Tilbury Pillow Talk lippy 💄).
That’s leadership. The handbag edit.
Different situations require different skills, but some are must-haves wherever you go.
And the research backs this up. A classic study on leadership skills (Mumford, Campion, & Morgeson’s “Leadership Skills Strataplex”) found that while some skills like communication and interpersonal savvy are essentials at every level, advancing in leadership means layering on new categories of skills. Early on, you need cognitive and people skills to run projects and lead teams. Move up, and suddenly business acumen and resource management take center stage. Climb higher still, and strategic vision, systems thinking, and long-range planning become non-negotiable.
In other words: leaders can’t just carry one handbag their entire career. You’ve got to constantly assess what’s in yours making sure the essentials are still tucked inside and swapping in new pieces and items that fit the bigger, bolder roles you’re stepping into.
And here’s the bigger point: language matters. When we describe leadership with “arsenals” and “war rooms,” we reinforce a version of leadership rooted in stereotypical male-coded, outdated metaphors. That doesn’t reflect the women I work with or how we actually talk about showing up ready.
As representation grows, our leadership language should grow with it. Let’s leave the battle gear at the door and start asking the better question: