Leadership Beliefs Women Should Ghost this Halloween (and always)

I see these beliefs pop up all the time in how my students and clients talk about leadership.Subtle, familiar, and often disguised as “good advice,” they shape how women show up, speak up, and move through their careers.

So this Halloween, let’s call them what they are: outdated myths that need to be ghosted for good.

ghost waving goodbye

1. You have to act like a "male leader" to be effective 

The loudest and most visible examples of “great leaders” have been men but that doesn’t mean they’re the most effective. Research consistently shows the positive impact of women in leadership (no surprise there). And it’s not because they’re leading like the guys.

It’s time to stop holding women to male templates of leadership and start amplifying their voices, their styles, and their results. The future of leadership looks a lot less like imitation and a lot more like evolution.

2. We all have the same 24 hours

AHHH, no we do not.

A single mom working two jobs does not have the same 24 hours as a generationally wealthy 24-year-old in a Patagonia vest.

Time isn’t distributed equally when privilege, race, class, and caregiving are in the mix. Let’s stop pretending the playing field is level and start acknowledging the systems that make it harder for some people to even get on it.

3. Acting smaller to make the men in the room feel bigger

Women have been taught to walk a tightrope. Be confident, but not “too much.” Assertive, but still warm. And when the men in the room feel threatened, we make ourselves smaller to keep the peace.

We’re done with that. You can take up space and lead with power. 

4. Systemic gender bias is your problem to fix. 

Women have been told to lean in, build confidence, negotiate harder as if centuries of systemic bias could be undone with better posture and a power blazer.

This belief shifts the responsibility for equality onto the very people most affected by inequality.

It’s not women’s job to fix a system they didn’t design. It’s everyone’s job to dismantle it. Let’s stop prescribing self-improvement where we should be demanding structural change.

5. You need to have it all figured out before you go for it! 

Men are praised for potential. Women are pressured to prove competence before they even start. So it makes sense that women often hold back from applying, pitching, or leading because they’re waiting to feel “ready.” 

It’s time to unlearn that. You don’t need to have it all figured out. You need to start before you talk yourself out of it.

If you’re tired of carrying the weight of these old beliefs and trying to “fix” yourself to fit into a system that should be doing the fixing, coaching with me might be your next bold move.

In my work, I design coaching experiences that center women’s real experiences in leadership: navigating bias, advocating for themselves, and driving change without absorbing the burden of inequality. Together, we’ll build strategies that don’t just help you survive the system; they help you shift it.

Ready? Connect with Kelsey here.